All of it

Phew! Yes the holidays have passed. And, no it is not lost on me that we are already well on our way into January. The holidays this year were busy busy busy, with little space to move or breathe. I found myself only doing what was absolutely necessary to get through each day, and the list of what was "absolutely necessary" was quite long. Most of what kept me so busy revolved around my business, around Tangleweeds. More and more I found myself pushing other priorities down to the bottom of my list, like a dirty pile of laundry in the middle of the room, the sheer number of things in my life I was ignoring grew and grew. And this did not make me happy! I never set out to be my own boss because I wanted to be a 24-7 workaholic. No, actually I set out to work for myself so I could create my own schedule.

Arlo. One of the two cats Jeff and I adopted back in October.

When December drew to a close, and the new year was ushered in with drinks and dancing and good times spent with my boyfriend and my sister and her husband, I was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief. It felt like a huge space had opened up in my days, a space that had not been there for the last two months. My days went from feeling small and restrictive to large and expansive, without definite borders. All of a sudden I could find the time to just sit and drink a cup of tea, to just sit and do nothing.

my booth at the Holiday Renegade Fair in San Francisco

No, this is not the post about how I tried my hand at the arts and crafts selling business and "that's it", "enough for me." No. I am more determined than ever to stick with the handmade jewelry biz and see what comes. . . I am anxious for this year because it will most likely be my biggest year yet. What this post is about is this: I need to plan for the holidays more thourougly. I don't want to feel like I have to ignore my friends, my boyfriend, my family because I'm so in over my head. And while I know that the holidays will always be crazy for me if this is to be my profession, I also know that I can find a balance that allows me to enjoy the holidays as well.

on the beach in San Diego. Our Thanksgiving trip to see Jeff's parents in Escondido.

I am eternally grateful for everything 2010 brought me. A new home with my family. Two adorable cats. Lots of laughs and good dinners with friends. Time with Jeff: our trips to Nevada City, our Sunday nights at Jupiter listening to live bluegrass music, cooking dinners at home together. And, of course, all of the wonderful people who have come my way via Tangleweeds. You all are part of what keeps the creative wheel turning!

photo of a custom design I created from a sketch of mine for a Etsy customer.

Yes, I could ramble on and on about all the many many things I am grateful for from 2010, but I'll stop there, keep it short and sweet.  Sleep well tonight, all of my lovely readers! I will be back tomorrow with my "item of the week post" per the usual.

Holidays and Good Cheer

Some snapshots from Christmas and New Year's. Thanks to my lovely boyfriend, Jeff for many of these photos.

We spent Christmas day at my sister's place in San Jose. There was lots of family, good food, and good laughs. 

Jeff's and my tree at our home (it was our first Christmas at our new place):

And New Year's. . .  Deanne and Ricky came out our way, to Oakland for dinner and drinks and dancing. Lots and lots of dancing!

Flowers and time

The beginning of this year has been a bit of a doozey. I keep reminding myself that Mercury and Mars are retrograde. Explains a lot. I feel like this year is getting off to a very slow start. . . and I don't know that I'd want it any other way. My beloved cat, Snickers, died on Monday and I'm still reeling from this loss. Getting myself to work everyday is rough. I can feel every cell in my body putting up a big protest as I enter my studio to get to work. Snickers was always there and now she's not. There are times when I think I've glimpsed her out of the corner of my eye, or seen her curled up on my futon, only to quickly be snapped back to reality.

I need a bit of time to simply slow down. To do some things just because they feel good. I've been trying to allow myself to relax (which I am just no good at!)

I've always had a strong afinity for flowers. I stumbled upon these photos of some gorgeous flower arrangements when I was looking at Design Sponge yesterday. It made me itch to put together my own winter inspired flower arrangement. Usually I buy flowers from the local florist that is right around the corner from the coffee shop I work at. Right now, though, my funds are a bit low (whose aren't after Christmas, right?), so I thought I'd challenge myself by making a lovely bouquet out of only what I could scavenge from my yard.

It was simply fun. I kind of felt like a little kid, just playing. I remembered and felt how enjoyable it is to be creative in a completely free way. I was creating this thing, this flower and plant arrangement, for my enjoyment and my enjoyment only. There was no pressure, no expectations.

I still love, love, love the jewelry work that I do. But it is, in so many ways, a job. I try to give myself time to simply experiment with my jewelry designs and see what comes of it, but almost always there is a little voice in my head pushing me to come up with a viable design for my business. I think having a form of creative expression that is free of strings, free of expectations is necessary if I want to continue to come up with new jewelry designs that I can be proud of.

And, anyway, finding something in my life that is so free, and playful, and enjoyable in a very straightforward way is good for me. I've always aired on the slightly too serious side. I should definitely find more time to play.

The results:

A little bit of rosemary, some dried lavendar pods, plenty of purple sage, three chard leaves, some cattails, rosehips, a fragrant winter assortment. While it's not perfect I love it for just being exactly what it is.

I can't wait for spring so I can start planting more flowers!

Until next time,

Jeannine